Searched again at O'Hare by TSA, but this time the guy is curious, wondering why the detonators don't match with the metals in my body as I've explained their location (right elbow, right hip, both knees)--so now it's my word against the machine's. Hello, John Henry, hope this story lets you sleep.
The man politely explained every step of his thorough search, and even apologized when he got into the lower topography of this body (groin, buttocks, no metal there just yet). I can't say it was a pleasure, but I can say it wasn't a horror show.
But then they had to search my suitcase, too. That means a different guy handled all the contents and removed the suspicious stuff for scanning. As he puts things in the scanner, I'm thinking, ah, of course, the king's two bodies, but then I realize that most of what goes into that device is fake floral decoration on the commemorative candle my Thanksgiving host had given me.
I can't help myself, I say, "What's the deal, you seem pretty worried about that candle."
He turns to me and says, "We have to be."
"Yes," he says, with the solemnity of a judge about to deliver a death sentence. He turns back to his inspection. "A candle reads as organic material. We have to treat that as potential explosive. These could be fuses"--he holds up a branch of tiny ornaments, shiny flourishes on the three pound candle--"and so we gotta put 'em through the scanner."
"I'll be goddamned."
"You're good to go. Have a nice weekend."
Modern life scripted by a God with a fine sense of the absurd.
The TSA check as planned boredom, speaking of organic materials and Organic Machines: “Lewis Mumford was not a planner, but he wrote eloquently of planning. It was a difficult task. Planning is an exercise of power, and in a modern state much real powe...
Barry V Qualls
I once thoughtlessly put a five-pound bag of a special self-rising flour (from Kentucky) in my suitcase. In the Lexington airport my flour was opened and I removed from the line ... and something inserted in bag to see if it were ... drugs or gun-powder. All for biscuits for a City guy!
Michael Hussein Tallon
This story triggered a twenty-year-old memory. Nice to know I can still recall stuff from back then.
I hate the TSA. I hate the US gov't
It's nice to know that our dystopia is at least polite some of the time.
Sometimes, even when you take your explosives out before going to the airport, the dogs and the machine sniffers still pick up on it.
Just back from a raucous, near riotous Thanksgiving in Chicago, courtesy of my girlfriend, where mentions of Trump don't make anyone ask themselves,...
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Last Friday we had a dinner party, just chili, cornbread, and a big salad
Vietnam Sapa tours
I hesitate to post this here, since I am a man
I'm waiting ro a meeting to start, so I thought I would share some info about Zimbabwe
I think this is an excellent point:, The difference matters
Oh, my heart breaks for this poor photographer
This net neutrality news is terrifying
Babetender Night at Constantine, TONIGHT!! Bardo Minneapolis babes are taking over!, A portion of proceeds will go to Lady Parts Justice League
NO GRABBING the little kids, like your 2020 running mate, ROY “let me call your mother” MOORE
+ Blessed Solanus Casey, please pray for us
+ DOROTHY DAY
Ok I’m noticing that there is someone really Determined to impersonate me!, For one i never inbox people out the blue and ask for phone numbers or...
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I THINK PEOPLE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO PROTEST THE MEDIA FOR NOT TELLING US *A*L*L* THE NEWS