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Nothing about this is going how we assumed it would go

Nothing about this is going how we assumed it would go. I’m still pregnant but it’s not because he’s getting better... it’s because he’s such a fighter. The issue is that while he keeps fighting, his body keeps failing. I literally can’t fit all of his issues into one Instagram post. There aren’t enough characters allowed for that.... but I can share that he’s so swollen that his little organs are floating around in a pool of fluid that should never be collecting in a baby’s abdomen. It’s hard to watch each week on an ultrasound. I love seeing him on the screen because he’s my baby and I feel like it’s our job as parents to check on him as much as we can.... but it’s also heartbreaking to see your child slowly getting closer to death and yet you’ve never officially “met” him. It’s hard to stay positive when you’re at the point where you’re just trying to survive each day. I think about what life feels like right now and I just know that When I look back years from now, I won’t understand how I survived this. I feel literally crazy some days. Some days I’m physically in pain. Some days I can feel a swell of emotions coming on & I panic because I need to run away & sob privately. I’m close to the size I was with Evy near the end of my pregnancy with her and yet I’m only 27 weeks. There is so much going wrong inside of me and just that fact alone is hard to understand and process. It can be scary to think about..and the more swollen he becomes, the more swollen I feel. It’s all very messy. I go to bed every night and think “I can’t believe I made it through another day”... and I wake up every morning in disbelief that I have to start over again.... but night after night, no matter how much I cry to Michael and say “I can’t do this anymore!!”..... I do.... & that’s because I know my God hasn’t forgotten about me. It may feel like it some days.... but He hasn’t. I know he hasn’t. Because it’s 7pm and the sun is setting and once again, I survived another day living in the worst reality. God is still good to me... and I guess I’ll look back at this season of my life and I’ll know that the miracle of all of this is that I survived ... and my baby is healed in heaven. ❤️
100 Comment:
Heather Owen Heigel
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Katelyn I truly cannot imagine the torment you and Michael are in ? I am so sorry your having to go through this we are praying for you Michael and baby James daily Sending a hug from Michigan ❤️
Elizabeth Garland
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Ruth Susanna Ueland
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
I am so sorry, Katelyn. I’ve been praying for you SO much... I can’t imagine the pain. Last night I dreamt I was at your house for a photography event and all I wanted to do was hug you and say “You are amazing.” You truly are... ♡
Kimberly Megan Pitts
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
We are praying so hard....
Linda Marzin Morrow
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
I can't imagine how hard this is for you and your family. Thank you for sharing such an honest update. I have been thinking about you.
Happy Witt
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Praying for you all.
Sarah Lewis Doggett
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Keeping all in prayer during this difficult time...???
Melissa White
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Katrice Bolden
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Prayers ??
Megan Smith
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
I am so sorry for what you are going through but so proud of you for staying so true to your faith through it all and being a beacon of light to other moms in similar situations! Sending lots of prayers to you, Michael and Evy ?
Sandra Guzzi
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Katelyn James Alsop I'm so sorry for what you and Michael Alsop are going through. Sending you love and prayers from Aus xxx
Stacy Hart
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Oh, Katelyn! I’m so sorry this is your reality. Prayers for you and your little man. I shared this with a friend while she was going through the same thing: Lamentations 3:20-23...Xem thêm
Julienne Brown
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
Praying for you! You’re so amazing and your strength is incredible. Keep fighting, keep talking to God, keep your faith!
Mauvette O'Dowd Malizia
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Samantha Beazley Blake
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
You’re not feeling strong but you are such a strong, inspiring, powerful woman. Continuing to pray for you, sweet baby James, Michael, and Evy.
Debbie Higdon Smith
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
YOU are an amazing woman Katelyn. I will keep you and your family in my prayers <3
Chasnie Vinson
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
My heart aches for you all and your openness is an inspiration! Keeping you in our prayers! ❤️
Vilma N Derick Deckena
06-05-2018, 08:49:19
You are so loved by many and so many you don’t personally know! So much prayers and love to you and your absolutely amazing beautiful family.
Mimi Muriel
06-05-2018, 08:49:20
Brave, amazing and powerful. You dont even know how much you are impacting people's lives. So inspirational. Praying God squeeze your heart and give you strength, comfort, peace and understanding. ????❤
Kelley Finnegan Richardson
06-05-2018, 08:49:20
Continuing to pray for you, sweet Katelyn. I am so sorry for what you are going through but so amazed by your faith. God is a good God even in the midst of our suffering. I sent you and Michael an email this morning. Let me know if you guys need anything at all. So many prayers and hugs being sent your way... ???

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