As I stir the chili, smelling these unlikely ingredients, I hear that Flammarion will publish a French translation of No More Work in March 2018. So what, I ask, who cares? And then I remember that Flammarion, founded in 1875 by the reckless brother of an idiot astronomer, published Emile Zola, Jules Remard, and Sibonie-Gabrielle Colette. Yeah, her, and those guys, too. Maybe I'm in good company, after all.
A friend from Jersey and I are going grocery shopping tomorrow, we're gonna buy everything ini sight and start my perfect chili recipe--I have now trademarked it-- and then we're gonna let it simmer, and meanwhile we're gonna drive down to 90th and 3rd Ave to buy a lot of vodka and tsipouro, in honor of two Friday guests, and when we get back we're gonna drink a whole bottle of whichever we fancy. Shopping, cooking, and drinking. What could be better? Never mind. You know what it is. Same genus, different species.
I see Jeff Sessions and Roy Moore and I think, really, where's the casting couch? Who would fuck these pathetic morons, except as a quid pro quo, or as a grotesque homage to Peter Jackson, let's get all Hobbitt? OK, never mind, questions answered.
Sessions looks like a Hobbitt squared: his head is too wide, it's almost squished top to bottom, there's certainly not enough oblong there, I would say, nowhere near enough space upstairs for a brain, and his ears emphasize the horizontal effect--they point me elsewhere, anyway, they make me feel like I'm watching a tennis match, and I really hate tennis--so I ask myself, how the fuck did this shithead become powerful?
Not that I have an answer. But I would say this. If Alexander Stephens made sense in 1860, and was also powerful, becoming the vice president of the Confederacy, then Jeff Sessions does too, in our doubtful time.
I just finished grading the midterm papers for my almost-400 level course, Historiography; The History of History, and I'm close to awestruck. For Part I, to the midterm, they read Karl Lowith, Hayden White (yeah, the big book, too), Hegel, Marx, and Nietzsche. In Part II, we'll pit Du Bois vs. Dunning on Reconstruction, and finish with readings of Griffith, "Birth of a Nation" and Spielberg, "Lincoln."
I feel better already about navigating the perilous Part II because the midterm papers were so damn good. They got a real grip on Hegel, a slippery devil, and they enjoyed Nietzsche! I can't figure out how to give anybody a C. And the silent ones ambushed me, sticking close to the texts and offering brilliant insights as asides.
Something's happening here, and I can assure you that it ain't the pedagogue in the room. My guess is that students are desperate for serious reading, rigorous discussion, and whatever comes of these. It's not that they want to be challenged by a lout like me, they want the chance of anger and they know they have to equip themselves--with the sword of these sentences, these ideas--if they are to change their world, not just understand it.
It's kind of astonishing. Also inspiring.
"More than a decade ago, two leading American academics wrote a study of the Israel lobby’s role in the United States, Israel’s chief patron for half a century. It was a sign of the lobby’s influence that John Mearsheimer and Stephen Walt could not find a publisher at home. They had to turn to a British journal instead.
The Israel lobby’s strength in western capitals has depended precisely on its ability to remain out of view. Simply to talk about the lobby risks being accused of perpetuating anti-Semitic tropes of Jewish cabals.
But Mearsheimer and Walt described a type of pressure group familiar in the US – and increasingly in European capitals. Everyone from Cuba to health insurers and arms manufacturers operate aggressive lobbyists in Washington to secure their interests.
What is special about the Israel lobby in the US – an amalgam of hawkish Jewish leadership organisations and messianic Christian evangelicals – is the fear it exploits to silence critics. No one wants to be labelled an anti-Semite.
Rarely identified or held to account, the lobby has entrenched its power." READ MORE:
"Following the death of Sergeant La David T. Johnson in Niger, Johnson’s family reported that President Donald Trump told them Johnson “knew what he signed up for.” Trump Chief of Staff John Kelly, in attempting to explain Trump’s remark also stated Johnson “knew what he was getting himself into.” While this has received a fair amount of attention in terms of the appropriateness of such remarks, few have examined whether or not military enlistees like Johnson do know what they are signing up for." READ MORE:
Looking for a relationship?
Here's how to make sure you find (or rather create) the right one for you...
And we then go into what makes any relationship work... Relevant for anyone
You may recognise one of these experiences...
1. What you saw as their self-assurance and confidence at the start, which you found so attractive and you wanted to be in their world, now seems to be causing them to neglect and not meet your needs. And you find you focus too much on them and lose yourself.
2. Their focus on you, which you loved to receive the attention so much when you got together, is now causing you frustration that they can't seem to take care of themselves, and they seem to be blaming you for it.
3. Their capacity to love you so freely and easily from the start, which you wanted so much and felt so safe with, now seems to be turning more and more into ever increasing neediness and clinginess.
4. Their cool, calm and 'sorted' nature, which you found so attractive at the start, now seems to be turning into an insensitive, over independent and distant meanness.
These situations usually result in feelings of deep hurt, anger, and resentment, and often behaviours of in manipulation, abandonment, and even exploitation.
What other experiences have you had, similar to these?
What else have you noticed seems to happen as relationships deepen, that cause problems?
This week we're talking about 'chemistry' in our group... what chemistry is, and what healthy and unhealthy chemistry looks like and how we can ensure it remains healthy.
How do we create and sustain chemistry and maintain the health and security of our relationship, so that we can experience desire, excitement, and have great passionate sex AND feel safe and secure afterwards?
Come join the conversation in our Group - Trust, Love and Great Sex.
A wonderful message.
Applied to relationships... When we have expectations and frustrations in our relationship, whether they centre on us or our partner, we are turning our attention inside and focusing on what we don't have and what we don't want.
This will only ever amplify the unpleasant experience.
And we will stop giving. We start to take, from ourselves and from others.
When we let go of these expectations and frustrations, when we accept ourselves, our partner and our situation for what it is...
When we tell ourselves...
I am exactly where I need to be right now...
Then we can begin to focus on what we do have, and what we could do and be that would make a positive difference right now.
We start giving again. To ourselves and to others.
Because giving becomes its own reward.
And that's when things can really change.
This is acceptance and love.
'Needy and dependent'
'Distant and insentitive'
'Stupid and ignorant'
'Unappreciative and bitchy'
'So uncaring and disrespectful'
'Too emotional, too much'
Many people in relationships choose to insinuate wrongness, rather than clearly own and express their boundaries, needs and values.
This looks like criticism, nagging, and in particular moral judgements.
As a result, there'll often be anxiety, resentment, anger, or loneliness, hurt, and depression.... in both partners.
So often, I see a dynamic where one partner is shutting down, withdrawing and being defensive because they experience an increasing onslaught of this kind of communication from the other. It's all they can do to protect themselves from the hurt. But the shut-down and withdrawal just brings on more!
Things spiral downwards...
"Our attention is focused on classifying, analysing and determining levels of wrongness rather than on what we and others need and are not getting".
And what we focus on is what we get, to the exclusion of all else whether we like it or not.
Marshal Rosenberg writes that such negative communications are tragic expressions of our unexpressed feelings and unmet needs and values.
Tragic because this way of expressing our needs and values is unlikely to get those needs and values met!
"It is my belief that all such analyses of other human beings are tragic expressions of our own values and needs. They are tragic because when we express our values and needs in this form, we increase defensiveness and resistance among the very people whose behaviours are of concern to us. Or, if people do agree to act in harmony with out values, they will likely do so out of fear, guilt, or shame because they concur with our analysis of their wrongness.
We all pay dearly when people respond to our values and needs not out of a desire to give from the heart, but out of fear, guilt, or shame. Sooner or later, we will experience the consequences of diminished goodwill on the part of those who comply with our values out of a sense of either external or internal coercion. They too, pay emotionally, for they are likely to feel resentment and decreased self-esteem when they respond to us our of fear, guilt or shame. Furthermore, each time others associate to us in their minds with any of those feelings, the likelihood of their responding compassionately to our needs and values in future decreases" - Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication
What we can do instead is to learn to notice what is going on within us.
How do I feel about this, right now?
And value or need do I have, that went unmet and caused those feelings?
We can then learn to articulate our feelings, needs and values directly.
To take this a step further, we can learn to detect and focus on other's feelings, needs and values when they are engaging in negative communication.
One of the most wonderful gifts we can give to those close to us is to hear the unspoken truth behind their words...
Are you feeling hurt, because you have a need to be appreciated for all you do for us?
Are you feeling sad or angry, because you have a need for closeness and connection?
Is this easy?
Not at all. It takes time and a lot repetition and trial and error.
And most of the journey is getting past our own shit along the way.
The important thing is to keep showing up like it matters!
To find out more about how to do this, come join our conversation in our group Trust, Love and Great Sex.
#GetWhatYouNeed #GiveWhatTheyNeed #Communication #Needs
One of my top long term clients reached out for a phone chat about a very painful experience they're having... 5 mins of direct right-to-the-point conversation and they've let it all go and are feeling awesome again.
They've come SUCH A LONG WAY and conquered so many struggles... they know the drill, and they can access what they need to navigate their issues so quickly now.
Such a pleasure to serve and an honour to be a part of their wonderful life story.
How to start getting what you need without hurting your relationship or your partner - PART 1/3
It's common to experience frustration that your partner doesn't listen to you.
For many people, what they may not have realised is that judgement and criticism of their partner has come into their communication, when talking about their partner's behaviour.
They will probably notice that their partner seems to ignore what they say, more and more in fact, and continues to behave in the same way. And eventually that their partner becomes hostile, or they shut down and distance themselves.
As a result, the individual experiencing the frustrations will be left feeling angry, hurt and sad; often believing that their partner isn't changing behaviour because they partner doesn't love or respect them enough, and this will probably lead them to be even more critical and hostile, in a downwards cycle that leads to a deeply toxic relationship or breakup.
On the other hand...
Some couples express without criticism or judgement, and instead clearly express their feelings and needs.
They will often find that their partner listens and responds to what is said, and is more likely to understand and empathise.
As a result, their relationship will be a lot more harmonious, they'll be building trust, and have a strong sense of teamwork and partnership, and they will experience more peace and calm, more closeness and more love for their partner.
Want to know more about what's going on here and how to get more of what you need without hurting your relationship or your partner?
You'll need to join our group "Trust, Love and Great Sex", where we'll be sharing parts 2 and 3 in the next few days, and we'd love you to come join the conversation.
#GetWhatYouNeed #Communication #Needs
If you've enjoyed and received value from our posts about relationships, and you want to learn relationships skills and create the relationship you want, you're welcome to join our community.
It is where we'll be sharing the best of our great content, and having the most important conversations about relationships.
You're engagement will be greatly valued.
I just done the hawaiian healing technique ho'oponopono on my whole Facebook list as an energetic cleanse healing and renewal!
This is a process I've done 4 times on my list usually every year.
3000 plus friends down, most of you I have some sort of significant connection with. 90mins of none stop work. Some I had to stay with longer then others.
I've been playing with this healing process for about 6 years. The last 2 months I've found it to be quite powerful tapping into it after about a 3 year break. I love doing the work in the realm of anything in my field, is my own reflection so I just heal what's in me and so it's gone. I have only done my whole Facebook list less then a handful of times. This time was trance like and intense. It always opens up new doors and life changing opportunities when I do this!
Well... I am going to sleep like a baby tonight!
Let's see what type of magic shows up now from such a cleanse!
Good night Facebook world
It's that time of year again, where people start buying new grills and patio furniture. Burgers and brats, sunscreen and beach towels -- Memorial Day.
Today, my husband is telling 8th graders about the blood he shed in Iraq. About the water and electricity his unit provided, about the arms markets they broke up, about boots, rifles, and helmets.
About soldiers who came home under flags.
Don't thank veterans for their service this weekend. If you know them well, maybe ask them about someone they've lost. Let those names be tasted and heard again. Give up a moment of comfort to sit beside someone who's grieving.
to save money
Pleasure to have my brother Daisuke and his wife Michi Fujita visiting their Australian home from Japan! Such good times the last week together!
Dai lived with us when I was 14 in Cairns and I lived with Dai, his mother, sister and grandma when I was 19 in Tokyo! Unforgettable times
Catching up with old mates at the little bro's wedding #goodtimes
I love hanging around friends that keep you real or should I say unreal , inspire your potential, are loyal, dream about the future and join you on multi expansional life quests!
I look forward to the future doing business and life with these lads ❤️
I've been getting lots of msg's and comments saying I looked very dapper and smart at my brothers wedding!
Let's not forget I've been doing this from the 80's
I got a chi belly then, I Got a chi belly now!
I am so soooo grateful to my ever long lasting friendships. I have so many incredible friendships with women in my life, some of them have lasted for 20 years and are so deep and rich. There is many things i am grateful for with these friendships but one of the main appreciations is that they accept me for the flaky and disorganized person i am.
I am terrible at consistent catch up's, getting on the phone and being the kinda gal who is in contact every second day. Its just not my style and yet these amazing women no matter what have accepted that and we deeply cherish the times we do get to be together often with celebratory fun and its like we had seen each other yesterday.
I tend to be a little guarded with my heart when it comes to friendship because i know that once someone has fully seen me we will be friends for a very long time and it hurts so much to loose people who are in your heart...so much.
One of things i have struggled with in melbourne has been expectations from people for me to be regular and consistent...i am most consistent with the people who are relaxed with me, there's a surrender in the dynamic rather than any push and only love emanates from them for me and vice versa.
I am trying to understand that everyone has different needs when it comes to relating but its really hard for me to get because when someone needs something from me i feel pressured and not free.
I am interested to know how others feel safe with friends...mine is being left to be myself but still feeling love from those people. Do you have many friends but keep it light across the board, do you tend to keep your besties close and everyone else is a type of acquaintance, do you have short lived friendships, do you need to constantly be in communication to feel safe and loved.... Whats your friendship style?
Pretty sure ive found my purpose in life....being filmed being a weirdo in my home so other people feel permission to be weirdos in theirs....lol
Seriously though sharing my wisdom through the creation of online content is totally my destiny.
Best job EVER
love you Kathryn Rollins